yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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