Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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