operation harelip BJ is a go
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
