So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize