It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
PANTIES FOUND
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
