Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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