so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
