is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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