You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
