Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize