Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
