come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
As shirtless as possible
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
