Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
