bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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