It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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