Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
