I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
