Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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