i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
