Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Fuck appropriateness.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
