you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My feet surprised me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
