Dual....:-)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
