You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize