Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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