Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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