I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
