Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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