he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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