Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
