Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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