Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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