I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I could fuck to npr.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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