Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
