I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
