We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
