Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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