if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
