I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
