Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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