I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
