I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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