sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
