her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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