there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
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