i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize