i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize