This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
