my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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