Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
