Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm at about main and main street
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
