The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
