i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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