i barfeds in our rink
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I forget how to act sober
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