Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
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Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
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i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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