There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
