you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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