first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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