I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
